


Too Tall For His Own Good

by glitterandtears6



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxious Dan Howell, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Embarrassment, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, The Amazing Tour Is Not on Fire, Tour Bus, one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 16:30:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20195284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandtears6/pseuds/glitterandtears6
Summary: Dan and Phil head off, spending their first night on the TATINOF tour bus. Dan offers Phil the master bed, but things don't go as planned.





	1. The First Night

**Author's Note:**

> tHeRe'S OnLy OnE bEd!!!!111!!!1!! 
> 
> I'm sure this has been done before, at least in some capacity, but I just thought it was cute and wanted to do my own take.

As Phil climbed into the TATINOF tour bus for the first time, he was a bit disappointed. It was an amazing space with a comfy lounge, a nice kitchen, and more, but he couldn’t get past the size of the bunks. At 6’2”, he would barely fit inside, let alone be able to get comfortable.   
Dan followed Phil closely, noticing the look of concern on his face. “What’s wrong?”  
“We can’t fit in the bunks.”  
Dan stepped the rest of the way in, looking around. He laughed. “Really? In all this, you’ll find the one thing wrong? It’ll be okay, lots of artists have stayed in here.”  
Phil nodded, setting his bags down on one of the couches.   
As the two best friends were getting settled in their space for the next 5 months, Phil couldn’t shake his worry. They knew there was a master bed, but they decided neither man would use it. Instead, they would just have to get used to this.   
After eating pizza for dinner, it was time to get on the road. Dan and Phil hugged their families goodbye, were wished luck many times, assured their parents they would call, and finally got on the bus for the night.  
Phil sighed.  
“Still worried about the beds?”  
Phil nodded.  
“You take the master.”  
Phil looked up at Dan. “That isn’t fair.”  
Dan shrugged. “I’m not worried about it.”  
“You sure?”  
Dan nodded. He wanted Phil to be comfortable, and he didn’t think he would mind the tight fit.   
Once eleven hit and both Dan and Phil were ready to turn in, Dan realized he was quite wrong about not minding the squeeze. He unceremoniously shoved himself into the bunk, which didn’t quite fit him. His feet pressed against the end of the bed, so he tried curling up, which ended in him on the floor. Eventually, he fell asleep on his back with his knees bent, but didn’t sleep long. He woke up forty-five minutes later, his back in a ton of pain and his feet numb. He rolled over, trying to force himself back to sleep, but he couldn’t.  
Dan was fed up, and popped out of the tiny bunk before he went insane. He walked out to the lounge, where he considered sleeping on the couch, but deemed it inappropriate. He could roll off, and others would find him if he overslept. Instead, he drank a glass of water and headed back to his bunk to try again.   
As he approached his bunk, though, he knew it wouldn’t work for one more moment. He looked around, thinking, and spotted the door to the master bedroom. He took a deep breath and walked towards the door, pulling it open slowly.   
Phil, who was fast asleep, stirred at the lights entering his room. Dan stepped in and pulled the door closed behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed, but Phil still didn’t wake. It felt wrong to just sneak up and sleep with him without any notice, so he tapped Phil on the shoulder, knowing he would understand.  
“Huh?” Phil grunted, eyes still closed.  
“Phil? It’s me.”  
Now Phil opened his eyes, rolling over to see Dan. He groaned. “What is it? I’m sleeping,” he whined.  
“Sorry, I can’t sleep in the tiny bunks. Could I come in here, just for tonight, until I figure something else out?”  
Phil blinked hard. “Like, in the bed with me?” He was confused, but too tired to think, so he shrugged. “Sure.”  
Dan smiled, laying down on top of the covers on the opposite side of the bed. He was quite tired, and fell asleep no problem once he had space.


	2. The Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They just want each other to be happy, but this causes tension when Dan has a crush on Phil.

The next morning, Phil woke up to his best friend curled up next to him, his head tucked under Phil’s chin. “Um, Dan?”  
Dan blinked. He looked around, then shot up from the bed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I fell asleep on the other side of the bed. I didn’t mean to.”  
“It’s alright,” Phil replied, “who says best friends can’t cuddle?” He laid back down, patting the space next to him in invitation.  
Dan shook his head. “I’m gonna go get some breakfast.” He turned and rushed out the door.  
Phil sat back up, watching Dan hurry down the bus towards the kitchen. He frowned. He hadn’t meant to come off as weird, or make Dan uncomfortable, but he realized he probably had. He flopped back dramatically and pulled out his phone, hoping for a distraction.  
Dan sat at the small table in the lounge, eating his bowl of cereal glumly. This day had not started off well. He liked Phil, and maybe, in a different world, they could be something, but he couldn’t fall for him. They needed to keep their distance if they wanted to stay best friends. If he could, he would’ve gladly cuddled with Phil, but he couldn’t.   
The rest of the day was filled with events. By the time both Dan and Phil had eaten, it was time for a meet-and-greet, then their first show. They both plastered on a friendly demeanor, but on the inside, they were hurting. They were longing for each other, platonically or romantically.  
Once back to the bus, both men took a seat at the table, waiting for the Chinese food they had ordered to the bus to arrive. Phil stared at Dan, who was on Tumblr on his laptop.  
“Hey, about earlier-” Phil began.  
Dan interrupted him. “Can we just pretend none of that happened, please?” He believed Phil was going to judge him.  
Phil turned away, hurt.   
“Sorry. What were you gonna say?”  
Phil still didn’t look back up. There was a long pause. “Where are you going to sleep tonight.”  
Dan sighed. “No idea.”  
Phil glanced at him.   
“Maybe the couch, or I could try the bunks again, I s’pose. I’ll ask someone about accommodations, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”  
Phil hesitated. “Or, just come sleep with me.”  
Dan put his head in his hands.  
“I’m not, like, being weird, I promise. You’re just my best friend, I want you to be comfortable.”  
A member of the crew walked in the room with a large bag of food in hand. “Need anything else?” he asked.  
Phil shook his head.  
“Nah, we’re good, thank you,” Dan said.  
They ate their food in a painful silence, both hoping just to hear the other’s voice again. There were some attempts at forced small talk, but they had known each other for years, there was no such thing as small talk.   
“Look, you take the master bed. Alone. For me, okay?’  
Dan shook his head. “No.”  
“Either that, or you sleep in there with me.”  
“I can’t do either of those things, I’ll sort myself out.”  
“Fine, then I’m not taking the master bed.”  
“Seriously?”  
Phil nodded matter-of-factly.  
Dan sighed deeply. “Look, I love you,” he said. “Like, in a friendly way,” he added quietly. “It hurts me to see you uncomfortable. Please just take it!”  
“I feel the exact same way! The most reasonable thing is to share, why don’t you want to share?” he yelled this last part by accident.  
Dan swiped away a tear. “Fine.”   
“I’m sorr-”  
“Phil, I like you.”  
Phil’s eyebrows shot up.  
“Okay? I have a crush on you. That’s why I can’t share a bed with you. I can’t afford to fall for you, I can’t afford to lose your friendship.”  
Phil reached out and grabbed Dan’s hand. “That will never happen. I mean, the friendship part, not the falling for me part. I am irresistible.” He giggled.  
Dan shook his head, laughing. “Thanks, Phil.”  
The two of them went to the master bedroom together when they got tired. Phil was in warm, cozy pajamas, and Dan was in shorts and a t-shirt.   
Phil laid down under the covers, and Dan awkwardly sat on top of them.  
“You idiot, get comfortable! That’s why you’re here.” Phil smiled.  
Dan pulled the covers down, sliding underneath next to Phil, turning on his side facing away from him.  
Phil sighed. Dan was visibly uncomfortable, and he didn’t know how to help. Phil didn’t do well with this. He put a hand on Dan’s shoulder, gently pulling Dan towards him.   
“Hey.”  
Dan blushed. “Yeah?”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” Dan crossed his arms.  
“What’s wrong?” asked Phil, more insistently.  
“I- I don’t know, okay?’ Dan sniffled.   
“It’s alright, you’re alright.” Phil attempted to comfort Dan.  
Dan, however, had started to panic. He shoved Phil’s hand off of him and turned back around, crying. “Just, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”  
Phil’s lips pursed. He knew Dan well, and when he started apologizing like this, it usually meant he was having an anxiety attack. “Dan? Talk to me.”  
Dan said nothing.  
“Well, can I talk to you?”  
Still no response came.  
“Alright, well, let’s see,” Phil started gently, “I’m trying to come up with an idea for a new video. Maybe a sequel? Another gaming video could be fun, too. I really enjoyed Viewers Pick My Outfits, and there were lots of great submissions we didn’t get to. Then again, the cheese suit and the shiny suit came from that…” his quiet tones trailed off when Dan rolled over. “You okay?”  
Dan was still crying.   
Phil opened his arms in invitation, and Dan laid still, eyes watering. Slowly, Phil pulled him in, hugging him tight. “It’s okay.”  
After about 5 minutes, Dan was asleep. Phil smiled, closing his eyes to rest.


	3. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's heart shatters during a game of truth or dare, and Phil wants to put it back together.

The morning after Dan’s anxiety attack, he was tired. “It takes everything out of me,” Phil recalled him saying. So, he tried to be extra gentle with Dan. Phil woke up before him, his arms still wrapped around the younger man. It was time for them both to get up, so he pulled his arms away and quietly said, “Dan?”  
Dan rolled over, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t wanna get up.”  
“Should I cancel?”  
“No.” Dan shook his head.  
“Come on, let’s get up.” Phil pulled Dan up by the wrist. Together, they strolled to the kitchen and grabbed cereal.   
“Again, Phil, I am so sorry about last night.”  
Phil was about to tell him he was being ridiculous, but caught himself. “Why are you sorry?”  
“I,” his voice cracked, “I’m out of control. I tell you I have a crush on you, leave you with the burden of having to figure out where I can sleep, I have a freaking panic attack in your bed, god, I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t accept your apology.”  
Dan was taken aback.  
“I don’t mind you having a crush on me, in fact, I’m quite flattered. I like having you sleep in the master bed with me, it’s far easier to get comfortable when I’m not alone. And your anxiety is not your fault. So I don’t accept your apology, because it’s completely unnecessary.”  
Dan whimpered, trying to hold in tears. He was deeply touched, and completely reminded why he had a crush on this man in the first place. “Jesus.” He chuckled.   
Today they had a meet-and-greet, followed by a show, then another meet-and-greet. By the time they were back on the bus, they were already exhausted, and it was only 6:30.   
Phil ate a frozen waffle for dinner, then sat down on the couch in the lounge.   
Dan ate another bowl of cereal, thinking about what to do next. He saw that Phil was watching an old Disney movie, so he decided to go watch too.  
“Hey,” said Phil as Dan sat down.  
“Hey.” Dan smiled.  
For the first hour of the movie, the pair sat on opposite ends of the couch. Phil had gotten up to make some microwave popcorn, and Dan decided to stretch his legs across the couch while his friend was up. When Phil came back with the bowl, Dan started to put his legs back down.  
“Keep ‘em there,” said Phil in a commanding voice that sounded goofy through a mouthful of popcorn.  
Dan laughed, puzzled. “Why…?”  
Phil sat down on top of Dan’s legs, leaning back into his lap.  
Dan took a few deep breaths, trying not to feel anything about Phil on his lap. He gave up after about a minute, an uncomfortable heat growing in his groin.   
“Gonna go to bed,” Dan breathed, pulling his body out from under Phil roughly.  
“Hey, ditching me just like that?” Phil joked.  
Dan could feel himself deeply blushing. “Erm, yeah?”  
“What?”  
Dan lowered his eyebrows.  
“What is it?”  
“I, uh, gotta go take a shower.”  
Phil nodded, sneaking the quickest glance at Dan’s crotch then looking back up knowingly. “Alright.”  
Dan caught the glance, feeling so stupid and embarrassed as he went to the shower to take care of his problem. When he was out of the shower and in his pajamas, he headed to the bedroom. Once in bed, he couldn’t make eye contact with Phil.  
“Dan.” Phil poked him. “Hey. Look at me.”  
Dan turned around reluctantly.   
“I get it. Okay? I get it completely.”  
“No you don’t, and that’s okay, I just- I feel wrong. I’m sorry.”  
Phil grinned, pulling Dan onto his side. “I understand way more than you think I do.”  
Dan closed his eyes in playful annoyance.  
“I might be like, a little gay myself,” Phil dramatically stage-whispered.  
“Really?”  
Phil nodded. “And by a little, I mean very, very much. 100% homo.”  
Dan laughed. “Well, I guess that means you understand a little bit.”  
“I’m comfortable with you liking me, alright?”  
“Alright.” Dan nodded.  
“Now come here,” Phil said, hugging Dan hard.   
They both fell asleep fast after a tiring day.   
The next day was all travel, which meant Dan and Phil were trapped on the tour bus all day. After a long, chatty breakfast, which included discussion of gay experiences they had never talked about with anyone, they decided to film a video.  
After sitting down and recording twenty minutes of banter and a goofy quiz game, Phil shut off his computer and sat on the floor.   
“I was not made for this.”   
Dan sat next to Phil. “Me neither.”  
“What do people do on long car rides?”  
Dan thought for a while. “Truth or dare,” he joked.  
Phil turned, challenge on his face. “Sounds good. You start.”  
“Uh,” Dan looked at Phil. “I was kidding.”  
Phil shrugged. “It’ll be fun!”  
“Truth or dare?” Dan asked awkwardly.  
“Dare,” replied Phil.  
Dan dared him to knock on the partition to the bus driver and ask if they were there yet. Phil slapped his forehead.  
“Fine.” Phil looked ready to cry.  
“You don’t have to do it.” Dan was genuinely concerned.   
Phil smirked. “Watch me.”  
Five minutes later, the two men were rolling on the floor laughing at the dares and questions they had asked each other.  
“Alright, your turn,” Dan told Phil.  
“Truth or dare?”  
“Truth.”  
Phil thought for a moment. “What do you like about me?”  
“What?” Dan asked flatly.  
“Y’know, why do you have a crush on me? I love being complimented.” He batted his eyelashes jokingly.  
Dan chuckled uncomfortably, looking down at the floor. “Um, I don’t know. I guess…” he squinted at Phil. “You’re cute. You make the stupidest jokes and then laugh at them like a total idiot. Yet somehow, you’re really hot, too. And kind, and so smart, and you always know what to-”  
Phil pressed his lips on Dan’s.  
“...say,” Dan finished breathlessly.  
Phil bit his lip and looked away, trying not to smile.  
“Phil?”  
The older man laughed, hands over his eyes.  
Dan wasn’t happy. “Don’t do that to me, Phil, please.”  
Phil looked up, worried. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t-” He stopped when Dan stood off and ran to the master bedroom, crying audibly. “Shit.”  
Dan collapsed onto the bed, a heap of sobs and sweat. Why did Phil have to do that? When he knew Dan liked him? Why play with his emotions?  
Phil spent a few minutes staring at the floor, contemplating. He hadn’t meant to hurt Dan, he didn’t even know why he did it. It just felt right. After a while, he slowly stood up and walked to the master bedroom, knocking on the door.  
“Can we talk?”  
Dan tried to speak, but only sobs came out.  
“I’m really, really sorry. I want to talk to you. I want… you.” When no response came from the room, he let himself in. “I’m worried about you.”  
“Don’t be,” Dan sobbed.  
“Can’t help it.” Phil laid a hand on Dan’s back.  
“Will you just stop? I know what you’re doing. You’re leading me on. You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you? Making me miserable?”  
Phil was heartbroken. “Never.”  
“Just…” Dan meant to say “leave me alone,” but he couldn’t get it out. He loved Phil.  
“Dan? Please. Please talk to me. I need you.”  
“Do you?” Dan cried.   
Phil lied down next to the crying mess he had created. He felt horrible. “You’re my best friend, Dan, I love you.”  
Dan didn’t answer.  
“And I think, maybe, I love you as more than friends.”  
“Shut up, I don’t need your pity.” Dan laughed, but it was a disbelieving laugh. An angry laugh. A hurt laugh.  
“Dan, I didn’t kiss you for no reason. It felt right, and when something feels right, I go with it.”  
Dan stilled.  
“Right now, what feels right is to hold you, and tell you it’s okay. And to be your shoulder to cry on, even though I’m why you’re crying. What feels right is to fall for you, Dan.”  
“I don’t believe you.”   
Phil rolled Dan over by the shoulders, so he was laying flat on his back. He leaned down and kissed Dan. He held his hands in that brown fringe that was curling up with sweat and tears. He kissed Dan like his life depended on it, as if holding Dan was holding onto his entire life. And in that moment, he knew: Dan was what he needed. Dan was, in fact, his entire life, and without him, he was empty.   
Dan cautiously lifted his arms from the bed, putting them around the back of Phil’s neck. When Phil came up to take a breath, Dan finally spoke.   
“If you’re lying, I don’t think I can ever talk to you again.”  
“Well, then the fans are lucky that I’m not lying.”  
Dan smiled for the first time since the kiss. “I’m lucky.”


End file.
